Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Movin' On

I am one of those people who love comfort zone. I tend to stay at the same place instead of seeking for another adventure to conquer. I prefer laying down on a cozy couch to roaming in a wild jungle. Call me 'old style lady' but that's me. So, for me, moving on isn't an easy task to do, honestly.

But why suddenly I picked moving on as a title for this post? What kind of moving, actually? Well, the year of 2014 was full of 'moving on' activity for me. I had to move from my old job (a job which full of entertainment) to another job (a serious one). I also had to move from my home (a home I've been living for almost 25 years) to another new home (a strange one). So yes, the highlight of my 2014 was: moving on.

I am excited to see the after-effect I'm gonna get from those activities. I'm deligthfull to wait what will come after it. But in fact, moving on wasn't all about happiness. The process was also painful. I've got to face the bitter reality that moving on also contains a large amount of sadness and sea of tears. And yes, I gotta sum up my 2014 as the year of ups and downs.

Starting from the beginning of the year, I went through many obstacles. The hardest obstacle to face was 'being jobless'. It was extra painful to be in such condition where you're in productive age, but did absolutely nothing. Actually I'm already accepted in one government organization at that time. That's why I decided to resign from my previous job. What made it worse, I supposed to start working in March. Yet in the end, the company told me to start working from May. Therefore my trimester in 2014 was useless without being able to have a 'permanent job'. I started to feel afraid. I was extremely anxious whether I was truly accepted as one of their employee or not. I heard the same lame questions everyday, asking when I'll start to work in my new office, is the announcement reliable, and so on. I was so pathetic at that time.

In September, I experienced another 'moving on'. To be honest, it was more painful than the previous one because it was so sudden. Just like what I said at the beginning of this post: I am one of those people who love comfort zone. If I'm already in love with one thing or one place, I won't jump in another cave until the universe told me to do so. And that's happened few months ago. I had to move from my old home because of one particular reason or we can just say the universe told me to move out from my home. A home which truly feels HOMEY. A home which gave me that familiar feeling. A home which full of warmth. A home which was a perfect shelter through the good and the bad, through thick and thin, through the ease and tough condition. There weren't any thought in my brain that I will move out from that house. I thought I would live forever in that house because I had fallen so deep in love. I was born and grew up there. But then I found out that I was wrong. I couldn't live forever there and I had to move into a new place. A place which completely new that gave me strange chill. A place that made me raise my eyebrow because of the confusion. A place that made me complain all day about how discomfort it was. At that period of time, it was extremely hard to say goodbye because saying goodbye to something that used to be a part of my daily basis was indeed distressful. I was completely melancholic at that time.

Living my life just like usual? It wasn't that simple at that period of time. I tried to endure all the bitterness I've experienced during the process of 'moving on'. No answer except struggling and waiting. There was such phase of extreme downfall, definitely. But I'm glad to know I survived. Thanks to the quote "good things come to those who wait". It was effin true. It felt so real. I finally realized that 'moving on' is about letting go of the past, accepting the circumstances, and adapting to the new environment. Just wait a bit for a good end. Eventhough day by day might be too hard to be passed, don't worry. Because happiness will come anytime soon. At least that's how I feel nowadays.

2014 was another year of getting to know more about maturity. Despite all the crappiness that led me drown into lots of vague thought, I have to say thanks to 2014. Because to be at the place I am living now is beyond amazing. I am happy. Truly happy.

So, welcome 2015. I hope you will be a wonderful and joyous year ahead. Don't be afraid to surprise me (in a good way, of course).


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