Sunday, May 23, 2010

Thanks for giving me tons of precious lessons, dear life..

Hi pals, i'm back. How are you guys doing? I bet you have a nice week don't ya? :) As usual my day is filled by the same hectic activities like doing the assignments. Yes, assignments, assignments, and assignments. Kinda boring, isn't it? Besides, daddy forced me to practice a bit harder on my english grammar and vocab. I love doing it, but sometimes i think he pushes me too hard, and i don't like that part.

Lately i've been thinking to write down much thoughts about life. I oftenly trapped in my own thoughts which questioning about life. Why it happened like that? Or why it ended up like this? Tons of questions in my head for sure. For you who don't know, yes i'm an insomniac. And 'the trapped scene' really makes me become more nocturnal than ever. Plus, it makes me feel even worse because i forced my body to stay awake until 4 am or 6 am in the morning. It's bad. I know.

I wonder why life is just like a wheel. Upside and down as it likes. Sometimes i feel 'huge' with all the components in my life, but on the other time i feel so common. Start to thinking that the 'common' feeling i taste for the past few days is so painful. More painful than being sad when you broke up with someone or failed on something. It feels like you know where's your fault, but you couldn't make it correct. Feels like you know you're in the bottom of a black hole, but you can't climb up to the top. And it feels like "yes i can make it clean", but everytime you start to make it clean, the dust comes with large amount of  troops. Instantly makes you feel untidy and powerless. I don't know why i'm feeling that way. I keep thinking about the reasons why and it ends up with no answers at all. Just like the usual. Totally weird. Oh and lately i also learned that being independent is way too precious. It's just because i accustomed to hanging on someone which is bad and it'll slowly kill. The fact is all the things happened in my life on this week was beyond my expectation. So far i've met lots of people whom i trusted to help me, but lately i feel dissapointed (again). The other lesson i learned is even a person whom close to you could be so cruel. Yeah no one is gonna bring you up when you're down unless you do it by yourself. So feel free to be such an independent, pals. :)

1. Yesterday i logged in to my old account on friendster. I've read many old comments from my mates and it was extremely hilarious. It's really fun to know that i used to be so disgusting like that. Hahahha. You should try it someday, pals! It helps a lot when you're sad. At least it works for me. ;)
2. I did some change with my blog layout. Quite crowded i think. But i love it because i organized it by my self. Yes i played with the CSS and i succeeded. hahaha. Hope you like it!!
3. Michelle from Glister and Blisters is holding a giveaway! Feel free to join the giveaway at her blog.



Dorothy Souhuwat said...

i like ur new design to ur blog..

michelle_ said...

thanks for your entry in my We Love Colors tights giveaway


F i K a said...

I like your new blog layout :)'s not easy to deal with the html and you're doing great :)

edwina nuroctaviani said...

@Dorothy: thanks. :D :D
@Michelle: yeaa. i hope i win the giveaway. :D
@Fika: it was quite hard to deal with the html. thanks btw. :)

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